What if we could go through life without worrying about money, jobs, kids, relationships, and just be happy? Happiness is not a destination. It is a positive feeling of appreciation, gratitude, and contentment about our current situation. We achieve this feeling by focusing on and acknowledging all the good things in our lives. Abraham Lincoln said: “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” It’s really not so much what happens to us in life, but how we respond to those happenings.
Step #1 Make The Selection
Irrespective of the condition or situation, we all get to choose whether many of us want to feel satisfied and energized, or miserable and lethargic. Obviously, we all will feel better if all of us respond to life with good energy and a plan for going forward. Using the low road by moaning and groaning regarding life’s injustices could simply lead to anger, resentment and disappointment. What lots of wasted energy!
That does not suggest the high road is simple. Often our first impulse when something unexpected happens would be to tense up, burst into tears, throw a tantrum, or search for something or someone at fault. This is a typical knee-jerk response that is related to our fundamental survival instinct. Recognize this instinct and then have a deep breath.
Stop and reflect. Ask yourself: Exactly how do I need to feel? What should i want? (What is the desired outcome?)
Step #2 Let Go
What’s on your own unhappiness laundry list?
Go ahead; make that list. Here are some samples: 1. Not enough money. 2. Too busy. 3. Betsy is always in a bad mood. 4. Bruce never does want I want him to. 5. My sister acts so nasty toward me. There’s no reason for her to be nasty!
What can you do to alter each of these unhappiness items? I’ll provide you with some hints. 1. I am so grateful for the funds many of us do have. I am also thankful that we live in a globe of opportunities where we can usually seek out methods to augment our income. 2. I enjoy handling my time properly, and so i never ought to feel that I’m too busy to read stories to my children, or develop a wonderful bedtime experience for them when they could discuss all the events of the day with me. 3. I am going to do something special for Betsy today. I know she’s depressed regarding being overweight. I am going to compliment her on her computer skills; she’s a genius and I think she does not definitely know that. 4. Bruce is simply two years old and he is eager to try his wings. I’ll be loving and firm with him, letting him know who is in charge. I’ll make the rules into a game. 5. Repeat Number 3 having a variation. What would make your sister feel special, loved, wanted, and needed?
Place those negative feelings into the washer and add lots of detergent.
How many people do you know who can still recall some of the terrible things that happened to them years, even decades ago? I know a woman in her mid-sixties who can still remember names that the “mean kids” called her in elementary school.
That’s a long time to carry around that memory. I wonder if she remembers any of the compliments her grade school friends paid her.
For whatever reason, our minds often store “junk.” We all hold on to all the bad things that individuals have explained or done to us through the years. Again and again in our mind, we all replay tape loop of life’s injustices: justifying our hurt, anger, or bitterness.
Why? Why keep all of that? Make a list of reasons.
Can you come up with at least one reason for keeping yourself in a state of feeling bad, resentful, angry or depressed?? What is the pay-off?
Release the junk. Make room for additional joy!
Step #3 Be Thankful
Being thankful for what you have and who you are is critical to the way you feel about yourself and your situation. It’s so easy to focus on what’s going wrong, but why not be thankful for what’s going right? Again, we are deciding to feel this way, based not so much on what is happening around us, but with what is happening within us.
Our bodies respond with a powerful, positive sensation when we express our gratitude; it is that sensation that creates happiness.
Emphasizing great things makes us feel great.
Has anyone ever paid you a compliment that you didn’t accept? For example, has somebody told you your new dress is very becoming and you responded by saying, “Oh, this old thing?”
Maybe at the job somebody complimented you on a job well done and also you responded, “It was nothing.”
Why is it often difficult to accept a compliment? Why can’t we be grateful and just say “thank you”?
When we all decline a compliment, we all think all of us are being humble, but the message it delivers to our subconscious is altogether different.
Rejection of a compliment sends a message to the brain that we are not pretty, or smart, or hard working! This response also makes the person who paid us the compliment feel bad because we didn’t accept it.
When we all are grateful and accept the kind words somebody has given us, it makes us feel great inside. That compliment is stored in our “hard drive,” and continues to provide good energy.
Have an attitude of gratitude. Make a decision to be grateful and satisfied. Appreciate the position you have, even if you’re not happy in that job. Appreciate your co-workers, though they may drive you crazy. Be thankful for your boss who’s hard on you, and also challenges you, and makes you stretch beyond you thought you can.
I guarantee if you will start being grateful for the things in your life that make you happy, or even unsatisfied, you will experience a great upsurge of new energy.
Suddenly, change is in the air! You might arrive at work one day and notice that you really do enjoy your job and appreciate the uniqueness of your co-workers. You might even think everyone else has changed, but it’s really you who flipped the switch to the Happiness Channel.
Why not give that flip-switch a try? The option is staying exactly where you are; and when that does not feel good, you could have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Michelle Prince – The Author of “Winning in Life NowHow to Break Through to a Happier You!“, and best life coach, is passionate about helping others to become more of who God created them to be. To receive Michelle’s Personal Performance Newsletter, check out winninginlifenow.com